We are discussing ways that servant leaders can enhance relationships by choosing to model the behaviors of love outlined in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7.
The second behavior is kindness. Kindness is giving attention, appreciation, and encouragement. I really feel this is one of the most impactful behaviors that a leader can employ in the effective development of relationships. Who among us does not like getting attention, appreciation, and encouragement.
Why is it then, that we are so often focused on what has gone wrong, or problems within the workplace? I am absolutely convinced that people do not come into work and say to themselves “What am I going to mess up today”. No, everyone is working to do the very best they can to provide an honest day’s work and advance the purpose of the organization forward. So why do leaders expend so much energy on the negative?
I would encourage you to be intentional about catching people (or your children / or your spouse) doing the “right thing”! Let them know you have recognized it, what positive impact it has had on the organization or family, and how much you appreciate the effort that produced the results. Also then encourage them to keep up the great work. This will build self-esteem, which sets up a powerful cycle of personal growth, willingness to take risks, and the production of continued great results.
There is nothing more fun and energizing than participating in an organization that has an environment and culture of positive recognition. There is true power in cheering each other on, and being intentional about being kind to one another. I guarantee it will produce results, and people will love being on your team.
Go out this week and see how many times you can catch people doing the right thing, and let them know how much you appreciate their efforts. Let me know about some ways you are intentional about this practice.
Mark Deterding
Great challenge today, Mark.
At some point, if we are producing, mistakes are a part of the process and we know full-well when they have occurred. Having the hammer dropped on us by those in the lead is never a comfortable experience and in an environment where this is common-place it can erode our confidence to the point where we cease to innovate, take chances, and explore new approaches. We roam about in the “safe zones” of our work where the status quo becomes the norm, and the organization suffers.
In contrast, it has been my observation that when we employ kindness in the manner you have asserted, people begin to feel at ease with us when we take an understanding and constructive posture in the wake of mistakes. I would suggest that this lays the first blocks in a foundation of trust for those who are following our lead. When our teams realize that mistakes are not fatal, they are more willing to step out, assert themselves, act on ideas, and take ownership of their work and role. Exciting things begin to happen.
Great point Mark. Along similar lines, I wonder what would it be like if teachers would grade our papers not as say -7 but rather +93?
Growing up, I recall getting results back with big circle, in red, letting me know how many I got wrong. Never do I recall getting something telling me how many I got right.
While we certainly can and should learn from mistakes, how wonderful it would be if we more focused on the positive, as you so nicely state in your post.
Thank you for bringing up this very important point.
Brent,
You could not have captured the essence of the importance of kindness and positive recognition in the workplace any better. The manner you have suggested will drive creativity, progress, and success, while the opposite will choke it out. Trusting relationships and an environment of “No fear” is where we would all like to be. Thanks so much for your outstanding input!
Mark
Vinay,
You bring up a great point as to the traditions of dwelling on the negative as opposed to the positive, going clear back to grade school. I truly feel that focusing on the positive will do more to build self esteem, and then when we do need some correction, which will always be the case, that we will be far more open to our leader’s feedback and input. If all we hear is the negative, we go into “safe zones” as Brent so well articulated and never gain the progress that the organization needs.
Thanks so much for your insightful feedback!
Mark