I had hip replacement surgery last week. Things are going well, but I have to improve upon a skill that I have not been the best at in the past. I have to get better at asking for help.
Leaders often feel the weight of the world on their shoulders. They feel the need to provide all the answers and direction required. They don’t want to show weakness at any cost, and so they certainly don’t want to ask for help.
The process of getting my hip replaced is a great test to see how well I do in the area of asking for help. Servant leadership is about building high performing teams where everyone is pitching in to help each other. A great way to model the importance of this is to ask for help.
Benefits of Asking for Help
- Promotes teamwork. You will get into situations where you need help. You always want to feel you can strap things on your back and get them done, but the reality is that you will need help. All of us are always better than any one of us. Illustrate how much you value the team by asking for help.
- Asking for help benefits the helper. You know how good it feels when you have the opportunity to help someone. You feel valued and a sense of worth that makes you feel really good. At work, helping someone gives you the opportunity to illustrate your skills at another level that might not have been seen before. By not asking for help, you are withholding all these benefits from the people that care about you and want to help.
- Enables you to be a better helper. After you have received help you realize what a blessing it is for people to step up and provide help when needed. You are better able to empathize with those that need help and you will begin looking for ways to help others any chance you get.
- Not asking for help is a form of conceit and enlarged ego. This one is tough for me. We all want to think we have things under control and don’t need help. Thinking this way is dis-honest and is not reality. Whenever I have succeeded at anything, it is due to the team of people around me. So whether I have asked or not, I have received significant help.
- It builds relationships. Asking for help is a foundation for relationships to form. It is a great way to make deeper connections with family, friends, neighbors, and work associates. Asking for help, getting help, offering help, and giving help are all great ways to build relationships to new levels that might not otherwise happen. Some of my best friendships have been generated and developed out of someone asking for help.
- We have a higher power that wants to help. When we have the opportunity to invite Jesus into our life to help guide us through our daily activities why would we not take it. You have been called to be a servant leader. However, that is a very tall task that is impossible on your own. Jesus wants to help. You just have to be vulnerable enough to ask for it. If you do, you will experience peace beyond understanding. That is a promise.
I am now asking for your help. Pray for patience for me to give my body a chance to properly heal before I task it too heavily. And continue to spread the word and multiply servant leaders. It is a team effort!
Mark
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:6-7
Mark, Let me encourage you to take this time to pursue grace. I know that sounds funny but I can tell you, your body will thank you later for the grace and patience you showed it during your recovery. In 1994 I had serious surgery which I was warned would require three months off work. After two weeks I insisted that the neurosurgeon release me to go back to work. The company who had hired me on contract as a technical writer were happy to have me come back even at 20 hours a week so I was not going to let them down. I traveled 3 hours one way and 3 hours back home one day a week and worked from home the remaining hours (often more than 20 hours a week). My recovery period seemed to never be complete and I got only partial benefit of the surgery itself. Take the advice of your elder – ask for help. Take help when it’s offered. Here’s a trick for your mind. Think of this ‘help’ as allowing someone to extend a blessing to you. If you don’t take help from others you are robbing them of the opportunity to obey God or to be a blessing. Open the door as though you are opening up opportunities for people at work.
Jane, your comments are both challenging and profound! I certainly have the same pull that you felt after your surgery in 1994, to get back at full strength just as soon as possible. But I have plenty of people telling me to not overdue it and be open to help. Your comment about not allowing people to help robs them of opportunity is a great one, and I appreciate that reminder. Thanks for all the ways you continue to bless Triune Leadership Services!!
Mark, you covered everything I said in your article but I was compelled to reinforce it from the outside. It is I who receives blessing from TLS.
Mark, Thank you for this great reminder that God created man to live in community!
Steve, you are welcome. Thank you for your comment about God creating us to live in community. Helping each other is a major part of that community working. Awesome!