I was honored this weekend with the opportunity to provide the message for my nephew’s wedding ceremony. Preparing, I asked myself what I would want any young couple to know as they started this important relationship as a man and wife.

I found myself focusing on key aspects and attributes of servant leadership.

First and foremost, I encouraged them to always “invite Jesus to the party”. Marriage is a tall task, a major challenge. I think it is extremely difficult to have a successful marriage without God in the center of it.

Leadership is a tall task as well, with an extreme amount of responsibility. I have found that inviting Jesus to help guide your activities as a leader, is key to effectively serving others. Thinking about others above and beyond yourself is not a natural tendency. Therefore it requires some super-natural help and guidance.

My next important message to the couple was to be intentional about CHOOSING the behaviors of love. The feelings of love will go through ups and downs in a marriage. Recognize, that is life. However as a couple, you can ALWAYS choose to carry out the behaviors of love no matter what the circumstance. Doing so will certainly build the relationship to new levels of strength.

The 8 behaviors of love that are outlined in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 are:

  • Patience
  • Kindness
  • Humility
  • Respectfulness
  • Selflessness
  • Honesty
  • Forgiveness
  • Commitment

Choosing these 8 behaviors of love as a leader is also a fabulous way to effectively build relationships with the people you are serving. This is precisely how Southwest Airlines intentionally built their highly successful culture. They expect their leaders to carry out these behaviors in their day-to-day interaction with their employees.

To summarize, I feel you can build a successful marriage, and you can be an effective servant leader by leaning on Jesus’ guidance and focusing on Service and Sacrifice.  Sacrifice your own wants and needs, and think first and foremost about effectively serving others.


Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  1 Corinthians 13:4-7